Profile for FiFi2

When we're born our small bodies are perfect,
Whether our skin's dark or fair.
It's only much later we get in a state
When our follicles start growing hair

On your head, well, you probably have some,
and over that you have some control
You can cut it or wave it, perm it or shave it,
without too much fuss on the whole

But hair is a fast growing substance,
be it blond, be it black, grey or red,
be it natural or styled, but what drives me wild
is it doesn't just grow on your head

When you're thirteen you're desperate to have some,
To show you got puberty right,
So you check every hour, in the bath, in the shower,
and in bed with a torch late at night

By your twenties it's started to bore you,
shaving your legs takes such time,
You cut and you hack but the stuff still grows back,
and the worst is the bikini line

It grows back like a beard if you shave it,
so you make an appointment for waxing.
If you've never before had your skin peeled 'til raw,
you might find this experience taxing

You are in the hands of a sadist
as you lie on your back on the bed,
She's rough and she's careless, the result will be hairless
and swollen and sore and bright red

Out you limp looking like a plucked chicken,
glancing under your arms as you're dressing,
suppressing a scream you decide to buy cream,
coz the waxing thing's just too depressing

Later in life it's not better,
Just when you're getting a grip,
When you're looking your best, it sprouts from your chest,
down your nostrils and it coats your top lip

Well, you've tried everything on the market,
but enough is enough so it's said.
So to save all the mess, you start to cross dress,
buy a trilby and call yourself Fred (3)